Walking With The Shamed
by SilverLocke980
Summary: Slightly AU one-shot. Ayane ponders her past, as she walks in a forbidden palace, pondering the one place she ever cared about or that ever cared for her- the Hajin Mon, also known as "the Mark of Shame". PG-13 for slight language.


Hello, everyone. I am Silverlocke980, a minor teller of tales. I wrote this after playing DOA2, and having thought Ayane was the saddest person I'd ever heard about, decided to write about a future in which she was happy.

So, on with the show.

"SHOWTIME!"

Dead Or Alive

Walking With The Shamed

Inside the Master's Hold, one of a set of secret towns operated by the Shinobi, same time.

The girl walking around inside the building walked silently, secretly, quietly- the Master's Hold was a place that no commoner among the ninja "populace" could enter, and detection here would mean her death. Not that she was afraid- she'd been coming here since she was but a child, so alone, so driven away from everyone else that she had _had_ to find a place like this, a quiet place, a secret place, a safe place, a place where the world could leave her alone and let her cry her little girl tears and where she could ask herself "Why?!?" in the choked, emotionally-strangled tones that seem reserved for those who have suffered their whole lives without ever knowing the reason why. Of course, Ayane had known by then- had always known- why she suffered, but she could never _understand_. Could never understand why people hated her because of her father, could never understand why people were afraid of her because of her father, could never understand why she and Kasumi were so alike and yet… different.

_You are me and I am you,_ she'd once wrote, in a moment where she was fit to bursting with teenage angst and anxiety. (People, growing up faster in harder times, generally went through these stages near the end of their fourteenth year of life, so this would have been around two years ago, for her, maybe three- Ayane herself had no idea how old she was, just that it was sixteen or seventeen, maybe eighteen, she wasn't really quite for sure). _And we're neither one of us ourself, really. We're just two sides of one person, stereotypical images- one of light, one of dark- made in the flash of a camera bulb and cemented into place to grow and feed off each other._ A week after that, she had made her first "high-up" kill. Then she had grown quickly in the ranks, becoming poisonous, vile, a serpent in the night, a feeder on poison, using the pathetic combats and battles between the varying groups of the ninja society to raise herself higher and higher in their favors, finally managing to make her way into the Hajin Mon, oh the Hajin Mon, that beautiful sect of ninja where no one asked your name and no one knew your past, where all that was ever asked of you was that your blade be sharp, your knife be quick, and your wits be keen…

Of course, that might have something to do with Hajin Mon's very name meaning, roughly translated, "Mark of Shame"…

In the Hajin Mon, Ayane had grown quick, like some vile nightshade flower that had been planted in soil drowned in so much blood that it had gained its own savor. She'd lost her virginity merely a month after entering, giving her body freely away to win rank in the Hajin Mon, to a semi-powerful man whose name, roughly translated, meant "Knife" in the northern tongues. And somehow it hadn't really hurt, not really, hadn't been half bad… not until she fell asleep and was tormented with dreams of the same choice being given to Kasumi and of her walking the brighter path. She had woken with sweat on her forehead and a body chill as ice. Knife, who'd woken up soon afterward, had told her it was creepy and tried to take her into his arms, but she'd rejected him and pushed so hard away she'd fell to the ground. Scrambling to get away, she'd actually skittered to the door like some kind of ass-backwards spider and opened it, running afterwards to get to her own room. When she got there, she'd burst out crying. And that incident, though it had taken some work to clear up with Knife afterwards (he'd actually been understanding about it, though; Hajin Mon, despite its reputation as the thieves' den of thieves' dens, had too many people who had been through too much for its people to _not_ have any compassion about them at all, and Knife had assumed someone had tried to rape Ayane; she'd quickly agreed with him, and she was very surprised when _that_ particular tale about her didn't get around the barracks of Hajin Mon) had actually helped her, as it had let her see both what Hajin Mon was and wasn't. It wasn't there to heal your wounds for you- but it could help you deal with the ones you had simply by not letting you get any more. For Ayane, whose wounds were always caused by others and not herself, such a place was (if not heaven) a place where she could at last be home.

And home it had been, for years and years, her always in Kasumi's shadow but that was okay, that was okay- she'd found her own dark corner of the world, and when she'd heard someone in Hajin Mon mock Kasumi as "pretty girl", she'd almost laughed til she cried and then taken that saying and clasped it close to her heart, like a precious jewel of the soul, and remembered it all her days. Even now, as she stepped through the near dead quiet of the Master's Hold, she could remember the light-hearted, cultured tones of Hasuke, a man who had formerly been a noble (a rumor she had heard from other ninja clan members; no one in Hajin Mon talked, it was one of the few unspoken rules that existed there), as he described Kasumi in the most mocking of tones. She could recall her wild laughter and the sheer happiness he'd brought to her- and the fact that she'd let him in her bed that night. That hadn't been too bad, actually.

After Knife, her bed had not become the free-for-all that most of the "higher" clans thought it had become, but she had neither been the "frigid bitch" that other higher-ups- Ryu Hayabusa in particular- theorized she had become, either. She had been in the middle ground, neither virgin nor whore, not against it but not for it, either. Such an attitude had also given her great power; her beauty, which was only enhanced by her silence (silence she had held because her entire early life had taught her that opening her mouth was just a way to get hurt, just a way to get torn apart, just a way for someone to make fun of her and then the rest of them would start and they would never shut up and they would never leave her the hell _alone_) and the fact that she was not totally against or for such a thing. Those totally against were attractive, to some, but those were generally weak, slightly masochistic types; those totally for diluted themselves before truly powerful people, who realized that moderation in all things was key. So Ayane was moderate here and everywhere else, and was soon surprised to find herself as one of the "powerful people".

Hajin Mon's rules stated that anyone could lead, so long as they were able, and soon Ayane found herself being questioned by the leaders for her advice on certain situations, found the long years of having no one to talk to and only books to read useful as she offered strategical advice that was centuries old and usefully new, tactics and plans that would tear down the most vital infrastructures or rebuild the most fractured of lifestyles. She'd become valuable, to the leaders of Hajin Mon, and soon they started introducing her to more and more powerful people, and soon, she was walking in the same circles as her sister and Hayate- and what a surprise that had been, when, after three full years of not seeing each other, of only hearing that her sister had apparently become a whore (or a virgin of steel) in Hajin Mon and was ruthless, cold, calculating, cruel, vicious, evil, and a female Tengu, Kasumi suddenly walked into a room and there was Ayane, sipping delicate Rostani wine (a wine favored by Hajin Mon's members; if there was one thing Ayane was, it was extremely loyal to Hajin Mon, the "father" who had nurtured her to such power, which had given her a life, a real life, a life of her own away from Kasumi), speaking calmly with the other members of her social circle! Ayane could still recall the way Kasumi looked, the thin thread of wonder, of confusion, of "What the Hell?!?" that ran through her mind and through her face as she looked at her, and Ayane had burst out laughing as her sister walked in. Determining to embarrass her sister or die trying, she walked over, threw her arms around Kasumi, and declared, " Hello, sister! It's been a long time."

Kasumi had choked for the merest of an instant before saying, " Ayane! I'd missed you so much!"

That had, of course, started a conversation which Kasumi had turned around so it was not embarrassing to her- and then, in a move that had embarrassed Ayane, she'd made the conversation one that did _not_ attempt to embarrass Ayane. The Hajin Mon were kind, in their own way, but they were still ruthless, and Ayane was used to public conversations where both sides were attempting to manipulate the other into losing face or, at the very least, attempting to "win" the conversation. Private conversations were one thing; public was another. In public, everyone was out for number one. Still, Ayane thought she had not done _too_ badly, all things considered… Just her existence was enough to cause the other's pain. And that she was now not only part of Hajin Mon- the darkest of the schools that the ninja could go to, one so dark that even in the night-filled world of the ninja it was feared and respected- but a _respected_ member of the Hajin Mon, one who wore proudly the "Mark of Shame" that was the symbol of Hajin Mon, not the letter symbol but a visualized one that showed a hand covering an eye- a hand covering an eye that was ashamed of what it had seen and ashamed of the one who had done such a thing. It was rumored (somewhere, long long ago, it was rumored) that the first Hajin Mon had been a man who had made love to his brother's wife. It was said that the brother's first act had been to cover his eye (he only had one) with his right hand, right before striking out after his brother. The brother had escaped and soon made his way to the then newly-growing Shinobi movement… and from there, the Mark of Shame had begun.

Ayane was proud to be part of such a group. The Mark of Shame was fitting for her, and though she had never done anything wrong (except being born), she was still an exile, and a group of outcasts was home for her. Not a home of love, not a home of warmth… but then again, maybe it was. Outcasts needed less love than other people, less warmth. Long nights of sleeping by themselves with only a rag for a blanket had rather inured them to the cold.

One embrace was enough for them. Hajin Mon bonds were weak, but they were all the Hajin Mon needed. And it ensured that each individual member had great power- they never relied on others. Help given to another, of course, was repaid exactly as given- no more, no less. A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye. Hajin Mon repaid kindnesses the way the rest of the world repaid hurts. Equal kindness for equal kindness. Your life in payment for mine, your rescue in payment for my rescue.

A simple enough system.

Ayane took another step and continued walking the silent, forbidden halls.

Things had changed so much, after that… her family relationship with Kasumi (universally respected as the most beautiful, most powerful of the female kuinoichis in Mugen Tenshin, and easily one of the three most powerful ninja in the entire Mugen Tenshin school, right behind Hayabusa and Hayate- no one was ever sure who was strongest out of _those_ two, even Ayane, who's sense of strength, sharpened by her life as an outcast who was always "weak", was superb) and, most importantly, Hayate (who was, even then, headed towards the top of the clan, leader of them all, as powerful as he was) had made the members of Hajin Mon sit up and take sudden notice of her. Having known before meeting Kasumi that this would happen, Ayane had determined to merely take her licks- but surprisingly, they had not came. The leaders had invited her to a small, secret meeting, and there they had discussed the best methods of using her family relationship to their advantage. Hajin Mon had never had many followers, and now was losing even those it had. Hajin Mon was dying.

But Ayane could give it _life_. The leaders asked Ayane to use her family ties to force Hayate and Kasumi to vocally support Hajin Mon- or, better yet, help Hayate become leader of the clan, _then_ gain his support. Ayane had readily agreed, loving the idea of, for once, having the upper hand on her half-brother and half-sister. The rest of the clan was ordered to support her, and for once in her life Ayane was a star. She was loved by the other members of the clan- loved, of course, in the cold, almost melancholy way that the Hajin Mon loved anything, but that was alright, Ayane didn't want anything else, didn't need anything else- because this love proved to her that it was _true_. If they had been more open with her, or attempted to make more of it than it was- to act more like the Mugen Tenshin than the Hajin Mon- she would have suspected them of duplicity, and in a life of betrayals and double-crosses and mean "tricks" that other little girls had played on little girl Ayane, Ayane was suspicious to the extreme… but this was true and that was okay. She'd proceeded to use her new power to greatly influence Kasumi and Hayate's lives. Enemies of either soon found their demise at the hands of hidden assassins- some claimed it was other ninja clans, some bandits, but a few knew the truth. It was Hajin Mon.

Hayate was one of those who had known. And he'd told Kasumi. Finally, on the small mountain paths that led from Mugen Tenshin's main dojo (built like a caslte) to Hajin Mon's main dojo (built in the mountain, a cave in the rock), they confronted her.

She remembered it well. It still brought a smile to her lips. The one meeting where she had had power, where she had had control, where she knew what was going on and the pretty people _had no idea what was happening to them_.

She'd enjoyed the hell out of that.

It had been on a winding path, set into the sides of the plains, moving slowly with the hills that surrounded the trio of massive mountains that had sheltered the ninja and their secret home. Ayane had never enjoyed the countryside here- she liked the darkness of Hajin Mon, the sheltered feeling of rock and earth all around, of darkness and the slight coldness that filtered through the cave complex. She had detected her sister and brother coming some time ago- much of Hajin Mon's training was designed to increase the sensitivity of the wielder to the environment, and even amongst the ninjas, to whom the slightest falling of a leaf could tell of a thousand happenings a mile away, the Hajin Mon's powers of perception were… spooky.

When Hayate had appeared in a blur of leaves, his teleportation spell taking him directly behind Ayane, and Kasumi had appeared beside him, in a circle of the cherry blossoms that surrounded her when she ran (she couldn't teleport; instead, she ran at speeds almost too fast to follow, leaving nothing but cherry blossoms behind), Ayane had said nothing, merely smiled.

" We know what you have done," Hayate said, his voice accusing. " You are the one who has been killing the ninja."

Ayane had said nothing, only smiled wider. Patience, Ayane. Patience.

" Why, Ayane?" Kasumi had whined, plaintive little bitch as always- _that_, and least, had not changed in all the years. She had always been such an innocent little soul. Ayane had once hated her for what she viewed as false innocence, but now that she knew it to be true innocence, she merely found it funny. " Why have you done these things?"

" Isn't it obvious?" Ayane had said, and her own voice- usually simply a sort of aural surprise to her, her voice odd to her ears, like they didn't like the sound of it- sounded as cool, calm, and composed as she could have wanted it. She would have squealed for glee right then if that would not have ruined everything right then. " I did it for you, _dear_ brother," she said, turning around and favoring Hayate with a wicked smile.

(Hayate never told anyone, but he always remembered that smile, He had never thought that anyone could smile like that; it was wolfish and sickening, all at once.)

" What?" Hayate had said, taking an involuntary step back. His expression had not changed, but he'd taken a step- one step- back. That step was forever recorded in Ayane's mind. What could bring a mere step back from Hayate would have bowled a normal man off his feet. Her purpose becoming steadily more and more accomplished here, Ayane's grin became wider. " Explain yourself," he demanded, taking on his "leader" voice. Ayane almost giggled.

(Kasumi never told anyone, but Ayane's smile had made her shudder. It was one of the few things that tormented the kuinoichi's mostly pleasant dreams- the memory of that smile.)

( It had been so twisted, so fallen, so terrible, yet… somehow, Kasumi thought that the smile had been right. Had been, somehow, on the side of Justice.)

(And that meant that somehow, Ayane was not on the side of Wrong in doing this. And that terrified her the most.)

" Oh, dear Hayate," Ayane said, deliberately stretching the words out, making them sick and foul, almost imagining her words something she was slowly vomiting out of her throat, letting them extricate themselves out of sludge and filth before they reached Hayate's ears, " what needs explaining? My dear elder brother is so _perfect_…" this last she hissed, and she felt herself starting to wobble, as if her life was growing hazy and fuzzy and indistinct as she kept talking. " Why, you are _kind_ and you are _noble_ and you are _great_… why, you even have a loving little sister to look up to you and to live for. You've got _everything_ you _need_ to _succeed_…"

" What are you talking about," Hayate said, but it was a statement, not a question, and his quick mind had already figured out where Ayane was going. She smiled at him again, and though he didn't move, she knew he was trembling in his heart. Still smiling, she continued.

" You wish to be leader of Mugen Tenshin," Ayane said, smiling. " It is in… my… oh, how should I put this… _employer's_ best interests that you succeed?" She kept smiling, even though she still felt kind of wobbly, like her head wasn't quite balanced right, or she'd taken cold medicine that had fried her beyond what it actually should (one of Ayane's weaknesses was that cold medicine made her feel horribly, horribly disconnected from the world; she hated that feeling, but this one, so close to it, was one she liked). She, of course, didn't actually say "Hajin Mon", but by the look of sudden shock on Hayate's face, he must have figured it out. The fact that no one else would have been able to so expertly assassinate other ninjas so easily (or care so much about doing so) had probably helped.

" You… you are from…," Hayate began, but Ayane held up her hand so quickly and with so much force he flinched. Ayane enjoyed that too.

" Shhh," she said, still mocking sweet, " aren't little sisters supposed to have secrets? Come, big brother, you know who I work for. Now," she said, " the terms of our… "deal"…"

" I'll make no deal with you," he said, voice firm, face final. " And the killings will stop. Tell that to your employer, Ayane."

He turned and was about to walk away when a single kunai- a kunai, a simple kunai, used mostly for digging but also used to kill, especially by the Hajin Mon, who found it funny to make a farmer's tool a weapon of death- fell and almost slowly clattered to the ground in front of him. Hayate did not move, but he did tremble slightly. He'd never even heard it leave Ayane's hand.

" Think," she said, still smiling. " Do you really believe that such a lovely catch as you could go free? You've got power here, brother, and mighty loyalties that won't ever shatter to be gained. You can become more powerful than you are, and lead the clan with ease. Your orders will be permanent, and followed to the letter. You'll have everything you ever desired." She smiled again. Hayate had not turned to face her, but Kasumi still was, and her sister's mouth- half open from where she'd almost shouted when Ayane had calmly, quietly hurled the kunai with an underhand toss into the air over Hayate's head to fall at his feet, but the blade had fallen too quick and Ayane had spoken too soon for her to scream- slowly closed as she backed away from her. " But, most important of all, you can give back something."

" You wish to be allowed to be in line for leadership of the clan," Hayate said slowly, calmly. It was commonly known that a ninja of any of the various schools of training could lead the clan- any, that was, except Hajin Mon.

Ayane had surprised him by bursting out laughing- cackling, actually- and Hayate had turned around at that, seeing Ayane laughing and shaking her head as she clutched her stomach. " Oh, brother!" she laughed. " What a funny way you have with words." Still laughing, she had said, " No, brother, that isn't what my employer wants. We want something much simpler and much easier for the great Hayate to give." She'd stopped laughing, wiped her eyes, and said, " We want recruits."

" Recruits?" Hayate said. " I can't give you that." It was well known that one of the few freedoms given to younger ninja was the ability to train at the school of their choosing. Not even the head of the clan could order a young recruit to train at any particular school, though "suggestions" could be used.

" No," Ayane said, " but my employer knows that too. We want the rumors to stop. We want whispers of "shadow things" and "darkness" to stop. We want all that silly trash taken care of. Yes, we're dark, damn it, foul and black and full of all sorts of fun little things, things that skitter and shuffle and go "bump" in the night… not that you would know of it, my bright bright brother and sister." Ayane shook her head, suddenly feeling cold. She'd looked down. " But we're light too. We're a bit of happiness that you can find when no one cares and we're a bit of warmth without a fire and we are not the people you think we are. We wear our souls on our sleeves- and we don't care. I think… that we are dying not because of who we are but because of who others think we are. We may be evil, but so are the rest of you. We just realize the truth." She'd looked up at them, and said, " Make us noble. That is what we ask. And in return, we will grant you all the aid you will ever need."

Hayate had looked at her again, then said, " As you wish." He'd then bowed to her, bowed formally, not to a sister (but Ayane didn't _want_ to be his sister, that's what everybody always got wrong; she hated the bastard, hated him, and no more wanted him to be her brother than he wanted her to be his sister- they were too different, now, she shadow, he light, and she had a home she could live in, dark and underground, while he had a home he could live in, bright and on high, so there was that and good enough for all). " All I ask is that my enemies stop showing up dead. Hers too." Kasumi was still too much in shock to do anything at all. " And tell your… _employers_ that I will do as they ask, but only when I am head."

" Excellent." Ayane bowed, glad Hayate had sense enough to wait until he had power to do anything that might jeopardize his power. " We have a deal, then. Call on us when you need us… Master Hayate."

Then she'd bowed and walked away, chuckling, the strange passionate outburst that had consumed her near the end (replacing her hate with heart and soul, and an odd, strange love for the shamed ones who had taken her in and given her a home) forgotten in her glee at having played, for once, the powerful one. And then she saw a part of her future, ahead of her; she saw the future that would come to her as leader of the Hajin Mon, and that she would lead the shamed ones to the future.

And somewhere, in the coldness of her heart, she found that she was happy.

A new, happier smile, slight but warm, lighting her face, Ayane walked home.

-Hope you guys liked it! I played only DOA2, and after having stopped laughing about the hilarious boob movements in the game (I'm sorry, but when the boobs move more than Madonna's, that shit is just _funny_), I got to reading the surprisingly deep and sad back story. So, here's my take on an "alternate" future where Ayane becomes head of the Hajin Mon, and my little working of the history of the ninja clans. Read and enjoy!


End file.
